


Goodbye, My Lover

by HerBreakingHeart



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Character Turned Into a Ghost, Established Relationship, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Infinity War (Marvel Comics), Love Confessions, M/M, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-29 01:19:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14462022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerBreakingHeart/pseuds/HerBreakingHeart
Summary: *INFINITY WAR SPOILERS - DO NOT READ THIS FIC UNLESS YOU'VE SEEN THE FILM*-----His short lived laughter faltered off when Loki's smile fell, replaced with an expression so filled with grief that Tony could've sworn his heart stopped for a second. He swallowed, his voice coming out as a whisper, "You're ok, right?"





	Goodbye, My Lover

Tony's hands couldn't stop shaking.

He held them close to his chest, not wanting to see the grey flecks that still clung to them, not wanting to remember _why_ they were there. All he could hear was his own harsh breathing, each sound he emitted causing his throat to burn with the effort.

_Please sir, I don't wanna go…_

Tony let out a whimper, digging his nails into his skin, trying to chase the pain and run away from everything else. He'd been stupidly naive to even think for a _second_ that they could win, that they could possibly defeat an enemy that had been planning this for centuries. _I hope they remember you._ Why wasn't he dead? Why did the Doctor spare him, only to leave him alone?

_I don't wanna go…_

His body shook as he sobbed, full of regret and anguish and _loss_. This was exactly as it had been in his vision, except since then he'd gained even more people to lose and he _had._ He'd lost everyone-

"Anthony?" He looked up immediately, desperate to see the owner of that voice, desperate to see something other than his empty surroundings and the sprinkling of ash that still drifted through the air. His tired eyes were raised, instantly fixed on the figure who knelt in front of him, and they started to well up with relieved tears.

"Loki, Loki… thank god, I…" he broke off with another sob, enveloping the man in a hug that pulled both of them to the ground. His brain didn't register the bitter chill of Loki's skin that was much colder than normal, nor the awkward angle of his neck. His face lacked colour and his blue eyes were dim as he gently pulled away from Tony, his smile sad and broken. Dried tears shone on his grey-looking cheeks and his grip on Tony's shoulders was weak and frail.

"Thank the Norns, you're ok…" the god murmured, and Tony realised then how light in weight his lover seemed. His hands that held Tony felt like the pressure of butterfly wings, barely there but the faintest of brushes. He almost seemed to fade away into the atmosphere and Tony tried to shake himself out of those train of thoughts. Loki was _here,_ Loki hadn't left him, he wasn't alone…

"So are you." Tony breathed, a desperate smile splitting his face, an insane contrast to his tear filled eyes and wounded body. "We can get through this together, Lokes, I know it. We'll kick that purple scrotum's ass and- and…" his short lived laughter faltered off when Loki's smile fell, replaced with an expression so filled with grief that Tony could've sworn his heart stopped for a second. He swallowed, his voice coming out as a whisper, "You're ok, right?"

He watched the other stare at him, mouth hanging open and unable to say anything. Tony felt a panic attack start to come over him and he pointedly stared into Loki's eyes, trying to stop himself from tumbling over the edge. He could feel the tears running down his face now, and cringed at the misery in his tone. "You're ok, _right?"_ His voice cracked on the last word.

The bruises around Loki's neck seemed to jump out at him, dark and brooding, and the way Loki's neck hung filled him with a sense that was all _wrong._ The god tried to speak, but his voice gradually got quieter and quieter as if it were a great effort to utter the smallest of words, "My… my sister was waiting... for me in Hel… she offered me a chance to… see you… to say… goodbye…"

_Goodbye._ Understanding hit him like a freight train and Tony felt like ice water had just been poured down his back. His intense denial spilled out in ways that didn't make sense, "No, no, _no._ Not goodbye, I- _Never_ goodbye, Loki, you can't- _Please._ Please don't leave, I can't- I can't…" Deep down he knew he was being harsh, begging Loki of something that wasn't in his power to do. And yet all he could fathom in that moment was that everyone was truly leaving him now. His friends, his family. The boy he'd never got to call son. The man he'd never got to say he loved.

"Anthony, I…" Loki leaned forward and rested his hand against Tony's bloody cheek. It felt like a ghost. "I'll always… be there… with… you…" His long black hair, matted and dirty, framed the pale translucent shape of his face and Tony found himself thinking that Loki had never looked more like the alien he was until this point. "I… I…"

Tony cried out as Loki began to fade away, his touch disappearing despite how much Tony tried to cling to him. "I love you, do you hear me Loki? _I love you!"_ And he watched as his lover smiled at him, a moment of pure happiness as he mouthed the words back, unable to talk anymore. His eyes were the last thing Tony saw of him, shining despite their loss of life until Tony realised he was no longer looking at them and Loki was well and truly gone.

He sat there, surrounded by ashes and nothingness. And Tony Stark wished he was dead.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry for this. Infinity War killed me and I basically had zero inspiration to write anything happy or fluffy about these two. Fuck you, Marvel. Fuck you. 
> 
> I headcanoned Hela in this fic as being sent back to rule Hel when she "died" and I can see her wanting to grant Loki his last wish. Them both being sorely mistreated by Odin and all that. God, Loki deserved so much more than what Marvel gave him. I'm so proud of him for acknowledging all aspects of his heritage in his final moments, showing just how much he's grown as a character. I'll always love you, you beautiful bastard, and I hope with all my heart that we can somehow see you again. _The sun will shine down on us again, brother._
> 
> My heart is completely broken for Tony. He's all alone now (with the exception of Nebula there with him, though she wasn't included in this fic for convenience purposes, not anything against the character) and I'm not sure what he's going to do. Having Peter die in his arms was just gut wrenching. I'm praying for you, angel <3 
> 
> *Just a small thing to cheer people up: Loki quoting Tony with "We have a Hulk" honestly made me so happy. I was still crying but I fucking loved that line ':D*


End file.
